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Lost In Translation : Panzer Dragoon Orta

Cart: Panzer Dragoon Orta
Cab: Xbox
Coin: Smilebit

The Message

“One of the best traditional video game shooting experiences ever made”…”a solid storyline, stunning graphics, and great sound”…”the best rail shooter of all time”…”amazing mixture of finely tuned game mechanics, mind-blowing graphics, and stupendous soundtack will leave you nothing short of amazed”…”from both a design standpoint and a technological one, Orta is one of the richest experiences you can have”…”the possibly the best game to grace the genre in years”

The Translation

OK, so if I told you that this Penny-Farthing that I’m presently sat upon is the best one ever made, would that make it a recommended mode of transportation? If I told you that Tesco’s new staff uniform was their most flattering ever, would that make it haute-couture? If it turned out that Ibiza’s nightclubs cleaned-up their act, would it suddenly make them family friendly?

Hell no.

So telling me that Panzer Dragoon Orta is the most splendiferous, sumptuous, stunning and superlative rail-shooter ever made doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a f**king RAIL SHOOTER!

And for the love of all things sane: there’s only one ‘O’ in Dragon!

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Husband. Parent. Gamer. Go figure.

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One Comment

  1. Only played one on-rails flying shooter that I really fell in love with – Rez. Sin and Punishment was decent too, but that’s it.

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