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Lost In Translation : Grand Theft Auto 4

Cart: Grand Theft Auto 4
Cab: Xbox 360 / PS3 / PC
Coin: Rockstar North

The Message

“Amazingly realistic world; stunning action set pieces; genuinely engrossing storyline; hugely entertaining multiplayer”…”undoubtedly the best Grand Theft Auto yet”…”sets a new benchmark for open-world games”…”a console defining title, one that in years to come people will remember as the stand-out of the era”…”everything we were entitled to expect, and yet somehow impossibly more”…”an open-world dream come true”

The Translation

Niko Bellic had about as much charisma as a bag of smashed crabs; the plot was predictably pathetic and content with playing to every tired, misogynistic stereotype known to man; the shooting was still sub-par in comparison to even the most basic of third-person shooters; half of the city was left untouched by even the dreary side-quests; the whole package felt like it was crushed under the weight of its own limited and repetitive vision as it tried desperately to please a new generation of teenagers seeing as the last lot grew up and moved along.

Still: it’s fun watching people break it…

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Husband. Parent. Gamer. Go figure.

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  1. I just hated the fact that, when you failed a mission, you had to trudge all the way back to the mission starting point. That could mean a long long drive across the huge city. Hate things like that.

  2. Oh yeah – that as well! I really did try with this game on several occasions but always came away feeling like I’d completely wasted part of my life. Read the mainstream reviews shaking my head most of the time!

  3. I have never truly enjoyed any of the 3D GTA games. IV is the only one I haven’t played, but I doubt it would be any different.
    For all it’s flaws I have to say that Saints Row III does GTA better than any GTA.
    I may write something on that…

    • @RobMortimerVA  I don’t think any 3D GTA style game has bettered the atmosphere of Hunter for Amiga in all its polygon glory


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